Take the plunge... Wedding in Sardinia!
If I count the many foreign–weddings that we* have organised in Budoni so far, Sardinia should really be called a ‘wedding paradise’ like Gretna Green in Scotland and Las Vegas in the USA. Getting married in Budoni is just as quick, and it has another advantage too.
Anyone who ties the knot in Budoni does so in accordance with our laws. Unlike in Scotland or the USA, it is not possible to go to the registry office on a whim, pay a small fee and come out as husband and wife, wife and wife or man and man.
But first things first! Rome wasn't built in a day, and there's more to say about marriage than can be covered on a blog page. So, here's a little bit about Sardinian weddings.
At the beginning of this month, September 2014, we hosted the last ‘German’ wedding in our* establishments. You could say it was a superlative wedding, as 50 people attended! Normally, we get enquiries from couples who want to celebrate in a small circle, so we were really surprised when Mr H. announced a party that would be considered ‘large’ by German standards. He had already made his civil marriage vows in Germany and travelled to Sardinia with his wedding party to celebrate what was perhaps the most important and beautiful day of their lives in a fitting manner. And that's exactly what he did. From horses in the sea to the bride and groom in full regalia in the pool: the newlyweds really let their hair down, and the photographer who accompanied them documented everything! It was a successful celebration, with no shortage of culinary delights and romance.
How enviable are those who are granted such a celebration!
In Sardinia, different standards apply to the number of guests than in the UK. If we multiply the above 50-person celebration by a factor of 10, we arrive at an ‘average’ Sardinian celebration. Anything less than that tends to be small, and only above the 800 mark can one speak of ‘large’. ‘Good heavens,’ some Swabians will now exclaim in alarm, ‘they'll ruin themselves for years to come with a celebration like that! How much can such a monster wedding cost?’
I must admit that, as a true Prussian, I thought exactly the same thing until I was invited to a Sardinian wedding for the first time. I knew, of course, that a gift was expected, but what kind? Cautiously asking my friends what would be a suitable gift for the bride and groom, who were close friends of mine, dispelled my fears that the newlyweds would have to go into debt in the medium term because of me.
‘As the groom's best friend, the best way to express your friendship is with a “bustina”*.’ Aha, I realised, so this isn't about household goods, but about being able to afford them. Now, of course, I needed to know how much money is usually put into the bustina. Actually, it was an obvious and legitimate question. Or so I thought. But my friends flatly refused to give me any information. ‘You have to figure that out for yourself,’ they told me. ‘What is friendship worth to you?’ To be honest, I didn't know: different countries, different customs! And who wants to be seen as a cheapskate or a show-off?
I had no choice but to abandon the direct German approach and resort to the Sardinian way of stealthily gathering information. By carefully asking around during completely irrelevant bar conversations, I gradually found out that a couple in a normal financial situation can give between €200 and €600, while family members and relatives tend to give twice that amount.
It suddenly dawned on me: a Sardinian wedding celebration is nothing more than a start-up aid for the newlyweds' household! Quick-witted mathematicians may calculate what the couple would have left over after a 500-person celebration. That would make me want to walk down the aisle again!
Back to the formalities. Anyone who wants to get married in Sardinia has to go through the necessary procedures at their place of residence. Once there are no more obstacles to the marriage, you request the relevant EU document, which we can then use to prepare for the celebrations in Budoni without any problems.
‘Without any problems’ is the rule. The case of my friend Rodger shows that every rule has its exceptions. I'll report on that next time.
With a Sardinian ‘Adiosu’, Joachim Waßmann bids farewell for today.
Notes*:
* We: The Centro Servizi Tartaruga in Budoni and its director Pino are the point of contact for foreigners wishing to marry. I used to help out there.
* Our houses: The groom has reserved the area with houses 162 and 156 for himself.
* Bustina: This is an attractively designed envelope for holding cash.
* Bustina: This is an attractively designed envelope for holding cash.